Photo Captions

From top to bottom:
1) Kelly and me singing on an intercession set
2) & 3) Ryan and baby John praying for Kelly; the anointing is transferring through the sippy cup, haha
4) John playing with the flags in the Prayer Room
5) Sally praying on the mike for a Culture of Life in America
6) Brock family (husband, wife, 4 boys) playing a set; this family is amazing, they faithfully played the 4-6am set 4 days a week!
7) Kelly worshiping (this was staged, she saw me taking the picture :) )
8) & 9) The whole crew! 7 full-timers (+ John) who stood in prayer between midnight-6am every night! We're pointing to the board on which is written who leads what sets, and we're excited because for the last week, we filled all the slot. So we had live music in the Night all week, no CDs! (this hadn't happened in a while).

Some pictures from the last week of Nightwatch

big changes at ZHOP

We've had some big changes in the last month at ZHOP. We are no longer 24/7, we're only open from 8am-8pm, so 12 hours a day. This was a huge shock to everyone when Kirk announced it, but we all knew it was the right move to make. ZHOP has lost many staff, specifically singers and musicians, since it was first planted 4 years ago. We've gained a lot too, but not enough to keep going 24/7. And we were doing 24/7 with about 30 people, so there were few people per shift, the worship teams were small, and it was becoming difficult to sustain worship and prayer. We were spread too thin, and we needed to consolidate for the sake of the staff not burning out and becoming exhausted.

So I am now the shift leader on the Morning Watch (8am-2pm), along with another person, which has been rough because I am so used to the Nightwatch sleep schedule. I've been on it for 3 weeks now, and am still having trouble falling asleep at 11pm. Also, I have about 15 people to lead now, instead of 4 on Nightwatch, so this is challenging. I am also confronting a lot of fear of man in leading sets on stage. I had gotten so used to just the Nightwatch folks in the room when I would lead worship, and I knew them so well I wasn't intimidated. But now there's a lot more people in the room, many of whom are great musicians, and so I get up there and I am intimidated and constantly hit with thoughts that they are judging me or they think I sound bad, etc. Although I know it's the enemy, it's still hard to combat these lies and really believe the truth and be free on stage. I think God is digging deeper as far as removing fear of man and desire to please man.

I've also missed the Nightwatch folks a lot. We had such a strong bond, our little crew, and now the shifts are bigger and everyone is dispersed. You have to make more of an effort to get to know people and talk to people; otherwise, you can go the whole day in the prayer room, pray and play your set, and not speak to anyone.

So this is the latest news, and challenges...

Amazing story - Son of Hamas leader turns to Christ!

This is an incredible interview I read about a Hamas leader's son (a terrorist organization) becoming a Christian!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,402483,00.html

Murder of Abortionist George Tiller

As many of you know, recently, famous abortionist George Tiller, who performed late-term abortions and trained others to do so, was violently murdered in his church. When I heard this news, I was deeply grieved. We had a conference at ZHOP about a year ago where Matt Lockett from Bound4Life (the people with the red tape on their mouths) spoke. One of his messages was entitled "With Malice Toward None." He said that God not only cares that we fight to end abortion, but He cares about how we fight to end abortion. Violence cannot be justified for violence. He spoke about pro-lifers being so enraged as to bomb clinics and kill abortion doctors, but he took it beyond the actual act of violence and murder. He addressed the heart, which is what Jesus addresses in Matthew 5, that if you are even angry with your brother you have committed murder against him. He said, "We may never pick up a gun, but if we harbor malice, anger, hate, we've actually pulled the trigger in our hearts. Anger progresses to malice progresses to murder, and the later we interrupt the process, the more humiliating it is." If violent sentiments in the heart are not brought before the Lord in repentance, you not only become guilty in His eyes but also capable of such an act as shooting a man in church. This case is an example of the justice of man - man taking vengeance into his own hands. Vengeance is the Lord's, and He will avenge the blood of the babies and judge their cause. This is clear in His Word, as He is the defender of the innocent and voiceless, and He will judge wicked systems and wicked men. And both of these men will face the Judge and give account to Him. Our job is to pray for justice, speak the truth in boldness, and love anyone and everyone until they come to Jesus. No one is beyond salvation; no hard heart is to difficult for God. Matt Lockett also spoke of a dear friend of his who was an abortino doctor before meeting Jesus. She described the incredible deception one is under in this industry, truly believing you are helping women, when in reality you're subjecting them to years of emotional trauma and guilt. Thankfully, she was able to repent before someone had the chance to shoot her. George Tiller had this opportunity too, but this opportunity should last a lifetime (or as long as one has before Jesus returns), and it didn't in his case.

I know a family in Kansas City who has prayed in front of George Tiller's clinic and sought to close it down for 10 years. They wept when they found out what happened. This is the heart of God - to pray for justice and weep over the atrocity of babies being killed, as He does, to cry out for the salvation of the abortionists, and weep over such cases as George Tiller's, as He does. We must understand the heart of God - 100% just and 100% merciful. We must see who Jesus is through His word and make every effort to align our hearts with this reality. There is no other way forward, and no hope otherwise.

thoughts from the front lines...sieging

I sieged today (that's where you stand in front of an abortion clinic with red tape that says "LIFE" on your mouth and pray for the ending of abortion)...and it's crazy how even when you are completely silent, there's so much opposition and anger that comes against you from people who walk or drive by. we did get a few friendly honks in the midst of some hostile honks. You can distinguish between hostile and friendly by the length of the honk. Long, drawn out honks = hostility, short, quick honks are friendly. Something I learned today. Someone yelled an obscenity at us, which I wasn't moved by. In fact, I like some contention and persecution, makes me feel like I'm doing something valuable. Anyway, as I was standing out there, I totally felt God's presence. I didn't feel an intense burden or travail, just the presence of Jesus. As I was praying, I saw an image of the Lord removing the clothes from the abortion industry and from this clinic specifically, exposing its nakedness and its shame. The clothes abortion wears are deception and falsehood, meaning people don't see how evil the practice is and how harmful it is to not only the baby but the mother and the clinic employees. I know so many stories of women who have had abortions who were/are so depressed, suicidal, lifeless, feeling that there was something in them that was a part of them and it was ripped out, and now they are empty. No matter how much the industry tries to convince people that it's just a group of cells, or whatever, a woman knows - her conscience knows, her spirit knows. The woman whose case legalized abortion in 1973 herself was suicidal, an alcoholic, overcome with guilt and shame at what she had done, until she met Jesus. Now she speaks out against this practice. Many clinic workers are also very depressed, drink a lot, and are just suffering inside. This is directly related to the fact that they are partnering with death and darkness. But abortion is seen in the larger society as this benevolent, compassionate deed, and God is going to take the clothes off, and all will see its shame.

visiting parents, being a light, amazing testimony!

i went home to san francisco for a week to visit family...as some of you may know, my family is not Christian and is hostile to my faith in Christ. they think i am completely crazy and are very hurt by my walk with the Lord and my missionary calling. it's hard to go home and be in this kind of atmosphere, but i know i have to be merciful, kind, loving, patient, regardless of what they say or how they treat me. this is the only way they'll come to know the Lord, is through my witness. so i was home recently and we were hiking in Yosemite National Park (we hiked an 18 mile trail to the top of the highest peak, it was so strenuous but totally worth it), and my mom began a conversation with me which quickly went sour, and she was angry and raging, accusing...i never know the right response in these situations, except to lay low and remain at peace. i began telling her about the Lord and His freedom, trying to bring the conversation back to her and her brokenness, but it was met with scoff and mockery. towards the end, all i knew to do was say, "Mom, i just love you so much" to all of her accusation, which made her even angrier. 10 minutes later, she was totally nice, as if none of that had happened. this happens a lot, and it's the strangest thing. i don't know if this is because she feels like she succeeded and made me feel bad, or because she herself feels guilty for saying the things she said. i have no idea, all i know is that my response always must be kindness, speaking the truth in gentleness and love.

so that night i am going to sleep and i am frustrated with the Lord about all this. i begin lamenting to him, about how it's been 5 years of this difficult warfare with my parents (i got saved at 18), and it's gotten worse over the years. i was being honest with him, saying that nothing is working, my parents are just getting harder and harder to the truth. i was reminding Him that His word says that we are a city on a hill, a light, that our light inevitably shines in the darkness, and saying, "Lord, it's not working! You said that i'd be a light. well, i am not. They are not changing, they are not seeing Christ in my at all, they're not seeing the light, what is going on?" I was tired - of believing, hoping, trusting, just plain tired of the fight.

2 days later, i'm in a coffee shop reading a book when a Jehovah's Witness approaches me and begins witnessing to me. i didn't mind and decided to talk to him for a little bit, about what i do and my faith. he hands me a book, leaves, and a man seated near me overhears the conversation and asks to see the book. i, in turn, invite him to come sit and chat with me, immediately spotting the witnessing opportunity. he is a Jewish Frenchman from Paris named Serge, and we proceed to speak for 2.5 hours about God. he tells me he's on a journey to find God, he's been visiting synagogues and churches. i tell him my testimony and preach the Gospel to him, about who Jesus is and that he is our hope, joy and peace, which do not exist apart from him. at the end of our conversation, when i am about to leave, you will never believe what he says to me...."irina, there is a beautiful light on your face, and a flame inside of you..." i almost wept....exactly the thing i was complaining to God about 2 days earlier, about there not being light in me...i was taken aback by the Lord's mercy and goodness, to use this unbeliever to confirm to me that yes, His word IS true, there IS light in me, and my parents DO feel and see it....it's just going to take some time for them to admit it...