i forgot to tell the craziest thing from that Bible study. one of the verses i cited was Matthew 17:21 that says "But this one can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting," referencing the epileptic boy that Jesus' disciples were unable to heal. i ask the kids to turn to this verse and it's not in the Bibles. there were probably 4 different Bibles present (different translations and manufacturers) and none of them had this verse in them, except mine and jennie's Bible (different from one another). their Bibles ended on verse 20 and jumped right to verse 22. it's like someone purposely and blatantly erased this verse. it was so weird.
today i preached at our church for the first time! i was a little nervous, but overcame it quickly. the atmosphere is very unintimidating as it is a bunch of children (which is what i love about it). guess what i preached on?......FASTING! it's just been on my heart so strong and it's the only impression i got from the Lord when i asked to preach. i essentially related what i had taught in the Bible study, specifically the story of Esther and how fasting saved a nation. i said God will do the same thing in Sudan - He will save our nation as we fast and cry out. i called them all to join in the Friday fasting. the response was great, a lot of "amens". but the most exuberant outcry came when i said that the older ones will fast all day until breakfast but the younger ones could fast until supper that night. they really cheered then! two of the 3-year olds coming up to me afterwards saying "Fasting fasting". it was so cute! i told them they were a little too young, but it warmed my heart so much, and it showed that in spite of their short attention spam and antsy-ness during service, they really are hearing the Word.
the crazy thing is, today is the last day of Purim according to the Jewish calendar! i had no idea when i preached this message. God is truly speaking to the Church in Sudan about fasting, that this is the key to revival and salvation in Sudan.
you are welcome to join us if you like :)
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
fasting stories
this is a big year for Sudan. we are having elections in April, the first free elections in decades. next January, the Comprehensive Peace Agreement (CPA) erected in 2005 which ended the 20+ year civil wars between the North and South comes to an end, and a referendum will be held to decide whether southern Sudan becomes its own nation. there are many concerns and issues on the table, and it could potentially be a very tense and unstable time.
last Saturday, i taught a Bible study about fasting to about 12 of our older guys and girls (15-25 year olds). God's Spirit was very present. i called all of them to commit to fasting one day per week - for themselves, for intimacy, for their country. there were some questions and some doubt as to whether one could actually fast for 24 hours without dying, which i assured them they could, that they would be weak, but this was the point - to be weak so that God's presence can be stronger. i said that God is raising up a prayer and fasting movement of youth in Sudan, and spoke into them that they are the leaders on this compound and of the Church today. if they do this, the rest will follow, and they will lead the Church in it. the response was an excited and exuberant "yes!" and we chose Fridays as our weekly fasting day.
that Friday, we held our first weekend-long conference (to be written about in a later blog). throughout the morning i was asking around to see whether they were actually fasting. every single one who attended that Bible study was fasting. the overwhelming response to "how is it going? how do you feel?" was "i feel strong. i don't even feel hungry. it's great!" the lunch that day was particularly good too, and none of them ate it. my heart was glad. but it got better. after the afternoon conference session, i walk out of the building on my way back to the compound and see about 10 of our younger kids (10-14 year olds) sitting in the shade with water bottles. i ask them what they're doing, and they say their all fasting and staying far away from the kitchen to not be tempted by the food. my eyes widened and mouth dropped. i hadn't called them to it or even talked to them about fasting every Friday, but they found out and jumped on board. as it turns out, about 30 of our kids fasted that day. our cook came up to jennie and said "what's going on, why is no one eating lunch?" i found out little 4-year old Peter refused his porridge that morning saying he was fasting and ate nothing until noon. my heart was leaping for joy. they kept telling me that they felt strong and God was giving so much grace. they loved it. the next morning, the completion of the fast, i awoke to the boys singing worship songs. jennie (in the bunk above me) says "irina, i have never heard the boys sing in the morning. the girls always do it, but i've never heard the boys." one of them exclaimed "praise God i'm alive!" it was hilarious and so precious and pure. one testified this week that God already answered his fasting and gave him that which he was asking for.
i was overwhelmed by the kids' hunger, faith, perseverance, and love for Jesus. this experience showed me that i don't have to do much. i just have to make the call, hold the Bible study, organize the prayer meeting, essentially say "let's do this" and God will breathe on it. we had a prayer meeting at 5:30pm on the fasting day, to pray for Sudan and for one another. it was so beautiful to see their little hearts crying out for their nation. in the midst of political turmoil and uncertain futures, God will hear these children and respond. the earthly powers-that-be and their strategies are but dust, and our war is not against them anyway. these children, cast off by society and deemed insignificant, are wielding the true weapons of warfare. they are the ones seated with Christ, and they hold true power. the Kingdom belongs to such as these.
last Saturday, i taught a Bible study about fasting to about 12 of our older guys and girls (15-25 year olds). God's Spirit was very present. i called all of them to commit to fasting one day per week - for themselves, for intimacy, for their country. there were some questions and some doubt as to whether one could actually fast for 24 hours without dying, which i assured them they could, that they would be weak, but this was the point - to be weak so that God's presence can be stronger. i said that God is raising up a prayer and fasting movement of youth in Sudan, and spoke into them that they are the leaders on this compound and of the Church today. if they do this, the rest will follow, and they will lead the Church in it. the response was an excited and exuberant "yes!" and we chose Fridays as our weekly fasting day.
that Friday, we held our first weekend-long conference (to be written about in a later blog). throughout the morning i was asking around to see whether they were actually fasting. every single one who attended that Bible study was fasting. the overwhelming response to "how is it going? how do you feel?" was "i feel strong. i don't even feel hungry. it's great!" the lunch that day was particularly good too, and none of them ate it. my heart was glad. but it got better. after the afternoon conference session, i walk out of the building on my way back to the compound and see about 10 of our younger kids (10-14 year olds) sitting in the shade with water bottles. i ask them what they're doing, and they say their all fasting and staying far away from the kitchen to not be tempted by the food. my eyes widened and mouth dropped. i hadn't called them to it or even talked to them about fasting every Friday, but they found out and jumped on board. as it turns out, about 30 of our kids fasted that day. our cook came up to jennie and said "what's going on, why is no one eating lunch?" i found out little 4-year old Peter refused his porridge that morning saying he was fasting and ate nothing until noon. my heart was leaping for joy. they kept telling me that they felt strong and God was giving so much grace. they loved it. the next morning, the completion of the fast, i awoke to the boys singing worship songs. jennie (in the bunk above me) says "irina, i have never heard the boys sing in the morning. the girls always do it, but i've never heard the boys." one of them exclaimed "praise God i'm alive!" it was hilarious and so precious and pure. one testified this week that God already answered his fasting and gave him that which he was asking for.
i was overwhelmed by the kids' hunger, faith, perseverance, and love for Jesus. this experience showed me that i don't have to do much. i just have to make the call, hold the Bible study, organize the prayer meeting, essentially say "let's do this" and God will breathe on it. we had a prayer meeting at 5:30pm on the fasting day, to pray for Sudan and for one another. it was so beautiful to see their little hearts crying out for their nation. in the midst of political turmoil and uncertain futures, God will hear these children and respond. the earthly powers-that-be and their strategies are but dust, and our war is not against them anyway. these children, cast off by society and deemed insignificant, are wielding the true weapons of warfare. they are the ones seated with Christ, and they hold true power. the Kingdom belongs to such as these.
Friday, February 12, 2010
things that make me laugh
here is a sample of Sudanese worship music, 2 of my favorite (hilarious) songs:
1 - "Shake shake shake shake the devil off" (repeat forever)
2 - "Your boyfriend can let you down
Your girlfriend can let you down
The men of this world can let you down but Jesus never fails" (this one cracks me up!)
also, the very small children never wear underwear or diapers (these are practically unheard of) and rarely wear pants, skirts, or really any type of clothing below the waist. twice now when i've held 2 of them on my lap, they've pooped on me, or just wiped themselves on me from previous poops. hahaha! i love the mission field...
1 - "Shake shake shake shake the devil off" (repeat forever)
2 - "Your boyfriend can let you down
Your girlfriend can let you down
The men of this world can let you down but Jesus never fails" (this one cracks me up!)
also, the very small children never wear underwear or diapers (these are practically unheard of) and rarely wear pants, skirts, or really any type of clothing below the waist. twice now when i've held 2 of them on my lap, they've pooped on me, or just wiped themselves on me from previous poops. hahaha! i love the mission field...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
travels and impressions
This week I traveled to a village called Panyana with a couple named John and Poppy Spens, fellow missionaries in Yei with the Anglican church from the UK…whom I love. They are a whacky, hilarious couple who have a beautiful marriage and relationship. (Interjection: we have a Bible study every Sunday at their house for all the missionaries in the area. There are quite a few, about 20, I was surprised. I thought I’d be the only one, along with the other Iris folk, but there’s a great community here. My absolute favorite part about it is that there are several denominations represented, but I have no clue how many is because no one talks about it. No one cares. All that matters is that we all love Jesus. Right now we are going through the book of Ephesians verse by verse. This past Sunday, I led the discussion of Eph. 2:1-10, it was so great. It’s a true picture of the Body of Christ being one. The mission field and the difficulty of the living and working here, the warfare, truly brings the church together. I guess you stop caring about theological and doctrinal differences and just support and love one another). The drive was 2 hours along very bumpy, dusty roads, but fun :). We were there to help with a week-long youth conference. We walked in to joyous African worship, lots of dancing and shouting. That day we hiked up to the mountain there. The view was beautiful and it started to rain!! This is super rare at this time in Sudan, so it is a huge blessing, even though I was freezing (which is better than being sweating hot to the point of wanting to pass out). We worshiped in the rain, under a really flimsy tarp, but Jesus loved it! The next day Poppy and I spoke to the girls (about 40 of them) about, get this….fashion!!! Hahaha! As if I am any authority on this topic…some of you know how I dressed in college Poppy is the same way, she thought it was hilarious. We ended up speaking about modesty in dress and not causing our brothers to stumble, and prayed for some of the girls at the end.
John spoke to the men about the marriage relationship and how to treat wives/women. This topic of men and women, right Biblical relationship, marriage, has come up pretty much every day this week. My eyes have been opened anew to the oppression and terrible treatment of women here. Some of the questions the youth asked were very difficult and point to how drastically different this culture is, but how we must maintain the Biblical standard even if it confronts the whole of society. One was “What if a husband and wife can’t have children? Can the man go and seek another wife?” Because infertility is always the woman’s fault. The answer was no, of course, but this is challenging here because children are a valuable possession (not that they are always treated well, but they are a measurement of one’s success). Another question was “I am a Christian now and have repented, but I have 2 wives from pre-Christian days. What do I do?” We didn’t know the answer to this one, because if he chooses one the other will be out on the street, and how can he choose one? Beating of wives was also addressed, a very common practice here. One the drive back, I noticed mostly women on the roads carrying various loads on their heads – water, straw, bananas. Now I recently tried to place a standard water jug on my head. I swear I thought it was gonna crush my skull. The thing must have weighed 50 lbs. Beira, who was helping me, was laughing and said “African women are stronger than men.” I witnessed the truth of this statement on the drive back, as these women carried these heavy loads. John and Poppy told me they walk back and forth between watering holes and markets for miles every day – to wash clothes, fetch water, sell/buy wares. Essentially, the women do everything – cooking, cleaning, raising children. Often times the men are jobless, so they just sit around because all this is “women’s work”. On top of that, like I said, they are often beaten. Then I got back to the compound and one of the girls told me about an altercation she had with one of the guys about this topic. He was saying men are better than women, because Eve was the reason for sin and Adam was created first. I don’t know if he had been joking or not. He’s a wonderful guy who loves Jesus a lot, but the fact that he could think like this again points to how deep-rooted this mindset is in this culture that it permeates even true God-loving people. She had been upset and I was like, “That’s it, we’re doing a Bible study on this!” Then I’m sitting at breakfast with some of the male staff and we’re talking about malaria (rampant here, everyone’s had it multiple times). The female mosquito carries malaria, and a comment is made “See, women cause trouble!” And they went into how women in positions of authority are so much harsher than men in the same positions. We mostly laughed about it and took it lightly, but I made sure to express the fact that anyone without Jesus is not going to act righteously (I mean look at the presidents of Sudan and the war that had raged for decades) and both men and women have weaknesses and strengths. Yesterday night we did the Bible study with the older kids (I say kids, but some of them are my age), and it was great, I think the best Bible study thus far. It went for about 2 hours, there were many questions and all were attentive. I taught how men and women were equal, how both were at fault in the Fall, and the Biblical marriage relationship/roles of husband and wife (Eph 5). I spoke about the importance of choosing wisely whom you marry, with a lot of prayer and observation of the person’s character, not hastily. We talked very openly and candidly, which was refreshing. The kids want to do another Bible study on this topic, wanting to learn what it means for a man to lead his family, what he must do, etc. I think there was breakthrough, and I am very confident that they will be wonderful husbands and wives.
In light of these issues of female oppression here, I’m starting to get a real heart for the women here, especially our girls. I can see that because of the culture’s treatment of and perception of women as slaves and property, even those who know Jesus are under the yoke of this mindset. They are not confident like the boys are. It is mostly the boys who talk in Bible study, and it’s like pulling teeth trying to get the girls to talk. When I speak to them, a lot of them won’t look me in the eyes. They carry a lot of shame and insecurity. I want to tackle this head on and speak over them their beauty, identity, and purpose. I’m gonna be doing a Bible study with the girls separately and hitting on these things.
Thanks to all of you for reading my blog and praying for me, it means a lot to me :)
John spoke to the men about the marriage relationship and how to treat wives/women. This topic of men and women, right Biblical relationship, marriage, has come up pretty much every day this week. My eyes have been opened anew to the oppression and terrible treatment of women here. Some of the questions the youth asked were very difficult and point to how drastically different this culture is, but how we must maintain the Biblical standard even if it confronts the whole of society. One was “What if a husband and wife can’t have children? Can the man go and seek another wife?” Because infertility is always the woman’s fault. The answer was no, of course, but this is challenging here because children are a valuable possession (not that they are always treated well, but they are a measurement of one’s success). Another question was “I am a Christian now and have repented, but I have 2 wives from pre-Christian days. What do I do?” We didn’t know the answer to this one, because if he chooses one the other will be out on the street, and how can he choose one? Beating of wives was also addressed, a very common practice here. One the drive back, I noticed mostly women on the roads carrying various loads on their heads – water, straw, bananas. Now I recently tried to place a standard water jug on my head. I swear I thought it was gonna crush my skull. The thing must have weighed 50 lbs. Beira, who was helping me, was laughing and said “African women are stronger than men.” I witnessed the truth of this statement on the drive back, as these women carried these heavy loads. John and Poppy told me they walk back and forth between watering holes and markets for miles every day – to wash clothes, fetch water, sell/buy wares. Essentially, the women do everything – cooking, cleaning, raising children. Often times the men are jobless, so they just sit around because all this is “women’s work”. On top of that, like I said, they are often beaten. Then I got back to the compound and one of the girls told me about an altercation she had with one of the guys about this topic. He was saying men are better than women, because Eve was the reason for sin and Adam was created first. I don’t know if he had been joking or not. He’s a wonderful guy who loves Jesus a lot, but the fact that he could think like this again points to how deep-rooted this mindset is in this culture that it permeates even true God-loving people. She had been upset and I was like, “That’s it, we’re doing a Bible study on this!” Then I’m sitting at breakfast with some of the male staff and we’re talking about malaria (rampant here, everyone’s had it multiple times). The female mosquito carries malaria, and a comment is made “See, women cause trouble!” And they went into how women in positions of authority are so much harsher than men in the same positions. We mostly laughed about it and took it lightly, but I made sure to express the fact that anyone without Jesus is not going to act righteously (I mean look at the presidents of Sudan and the war that had raged for decades) and both men and women have weaknesses and strengths. Yesterday night we did the Bible study with the older kids (I say kids, but some of them are my age), and it was great, I think the best Bible study thus far. It went for about 2 hours, there were many questions and all were attentive. I taught how men and women were equal, how both were at fault in the Fall, and the Biblical marriage relationship/roles of husband and wife (Eph 5). I spoke about the importance of choosing wisely whom you marry, with a lot of prayer and observation of the person’s character, not hastily. We talked very openly and candidly, which was refreshing. The kids want to do another Bible study on this topic, wanting to learn what it means for a man to lead his family, what he must do, etc. I think there was breakthrough, and I am very confident that they will be wonderful husbands and wives.
In light of these issues of female oppression here, I’m starting to get a real heart for the women here, especially our girls. I can see that because of the culture’s treatment of and perception of women as slaves and property, even those who know Jesus are under the yoke of this mindset. They are not confident like the boys are. It is mostly the boys who talk in Bible study, and it’s like pulling teeth trying to get the girls to talk. When I speak to them, a lot of them won’t look me in the eyes. They carry a lot of shame and insecurity. I want to tackle this head on and speak over them their beauty, identity, and purpose. I’m gonna be doing a Bible study with the girls separately and hitting on these things.
Thanks to all of you for reading my blog and praying for me, it means a lot to me :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
[can't think of a title...it's too hot]
Today makes 2 weeks in Sudan. I am learning to rest in God. As I said in my previous post, Michele is currently traveling in the States, therefore I do not have a concrete job here yet. So it's been a lot of nothing to do. This is hard for someone like me, who lives for impact and wants to be spent in this life for the sake of souls and the increase of the Kingdom. My motto is “I will rest in heaven.” God is confronting this mindset. I am not a worker but a lover. My primary identity is not that of missionary or minister, but daughter of God. So I know God is in this. He wants me to just relax, enjoy getting to know the children and spending time with them, even though I often feel like nothing is being accomplished through me doing this. I am bombarded with “But there are so many who need Jesus, so many sick and dying, bound....” Here's that Messiah complex rearing its head. I have to shut these thoughts down and understand that I am truly in His will, exactly where I need to be, and He will make a way for all things.
I went to the hospital the other day with one of the older Iris boys, Edward. It was about a 30 minute walk, but the most grueling 30 minutes ever. The heat here is unbelievable. During the hottest part of the day, in the sun, it's about 105 degrees, and not a cloud in the sky. Even though these are the winter months, they are the hottest because it's the dry season. (When the rains come during the summer months, it cools down). We got there and went to the sick children's ward. The hospital was pretty dilapidated and unsanitary – there was a stray cat lying in the entrance to the kids' ward – but not as bad as I expected. Here in Africa, they let you just walk in, pray, preach, sing...whatever. There aren't the strict rules about visitation rights and privacy we have in the States. So we walk over to the moms sitting with their sick kids and ask to pray for them. There's a general aura of despair in the room, you can see it on the women's faces. Most of the kids have fevers, diarrhea, various symptoms the causes of which are unknown. We would pray for the children and I would ask the moms if they knew Jesus. Most said yes, although some of them may not truly be saved (Christianity is a culture here in southern Sudan where “everyone is saved”). We would pray for the moms as well. Then we walked back, and I pretty much collapsed when I got back to the compound. I have to say the whole thing was just plain hard. Maybe some of those kids will be healed in the next few days, but I did not see any immediate changes when we prayed. I've prayed for lots of sick people and have seen very few actually get healed. I believe God's will is to heal and He wants to use us to do it. Jesus said “Heal the sick,” not “Pray for the sick.” I'm still waiting for this to be true in my life; I'm not sure why God delays or why He doesn't heal everyone we pray for, so I'm a bit discouraged, but I'm not going to stop praying for the sick. Edward leads the small Iris children in a daily devotional, where he has them memorize Scripture. Even the little 3-year olds know John 3:16, 14:6, 3:3, Jeremiah 29:11, and several others by heart. I'm gonna record one of the little girls reciting one of these days, it's the sweetest, most precious thing. Anyways, the kids keep asking him “When are we going to go to the hospital to pray for the sick?” They're getting it – they know who Jesus is and they know who they are in Him. This is totally my heart – to equip and release children in signs and wonders. So I'm gonna work on some schedule/transportation plan to take teams of these kids to the hospital regularly.
A few days ago, Holy Spirit broke out in our kitchen while some of the girls were cooking. They all stopped cooking and started dancing, singing, praising God, for a solid 1.5 hours. Super way delayed, but it was so much fun. Everyone was dancing full force, clothes drenched in sweat by the end of it. It was just the spontaneous rejoicing in Jesus, laughter...so beautiful.
I've got 2 more stories to share. Edward (18) my hospital accomplice, spent several years in a refugee camp during the war. His parents both died from sickness. After the war, he went to live with a step-uncle in Yei who was an alcoholic and drank all the money away. He survived on coconut for one year. He was miserable, hopeless, living in sin, having grown up in a “Christian” family..and then Iris Min took him in and he met Jesus, for real. He was telling me how much suffering he has been through in his life, and that God spoke to him on Friday “The time of suffering is over” and he rejoiced. This kid carried such peace and humility, and his smile is contagious.
There's Tito, an older man and the compound manager. He spent 20 years in a refugee camp. He said there was no work, no school, just plain nothing to do...for 20 years.
Being here is producing a true cry in me of “Come Lord Jesus, return to us.” This world is empty and poor, and Jesus is changing lives today for sure, but there will not be full restoration and an end to all pain until He comes back to us. I long for no more tears, no more sorrow, no more crying, no more pain. Until that day, I am going to set my mind on things above and storm the gates of hell with this Kingdom that is in me.
I went to the hospital the other day with one of the older Iris boys, Edward. It was about a 30 minute walk, but the most grueling 30 minutes ever. The heat here is unbelievable. During the hottest part of the day, in the sun, it's about 105 degrees, and not a cloud in the sky. Even though these are the winter months, they are the hottest because it's the dry season. (When the rains come during the summer months, it cools down). We got there and went to the sick children's ward. The hospital was pretty dilapidated and unsanitary – there was a stray cat lying in the entrance to the kids' ward – but not as bad as I expected. Here in Africa, they let you just walk in, pray, preach, sing...whatever. There aren't the strict rules about visitation rights and privacy we have in the States. So we walk over to the moms sitting with their sick kids and ask to pray for them. There's a general aura of despair in the room, you can see it on the women's faces. Most of the kids have fevers, diarrhea, various symptoms the causes of which are unknown. We would pray for the children and I would ask the moms if they knew Jesus. Most said yes, although some of them may not truly be saved (Christianity is a culture here in southern Sudan where “everyone is saved”). We would pray for the moms as well. Then we walked back, and I pretty much collapsed when I got back to the compound. I have to say the whole thing was just plain hard. Maybe some of those kids will be healed in the next few days, but I did not see any immediate changes when we prayed. I've prayed for lots of sick people and have seen very few actually get healed. I believe God's will is to heal and He wants to use us to do it. Jesus said “Heal the sick,” not “Pray for the sick.” I'm still waiting for this to be true in my life; I'm not sure why God delays or why He doesn't heal everyone we pray for, so I'm a bit discouraged, but I'm not going to stop praying for the sick. Edward leads the small Iris children in a daily devotional, where he has them memorize Scripture. Even the little 3-year olds know John 3:16, 14:6, 3:3, Jeremiah 29:11, and several others by heart. I'm gonna record one of the little girls reciting one of these days, it's the sweetest, most precious thing. Anyways, the kids keep asking him “When are we going to go to the hospital to pray for the sick?” They're getting it – they know who Jesus is and they know who they are in Him. This is totally my heart – to equip and release children in signs and wonders. So I'm gonna work on some schedule/transportation plan to take teams of these kids to the hospital regularly.
A few days ago, Holy Spirit broke out in our kitchen while some of the girls were cooking. They all stopped cooking and started dancing, singing, praising God, for a solid 1.5 hours. Super way delayed, but it was so much fun. Everyone was dancing full force, clothes drenched in sweat by the end of it. It was just the spontaneous rejoicing in Jesus, laughter...so beautiful.
I've got 2 more stories to share. Edward (18) my hospital accomplice, spent several years in a refugee camp during the war. His parents both died from sickness. After the war, he went to live with a step-uncle in Yei who was an alcoholic and drank all the money away. He survived on coconut for one year. He was miserable, hopeless, living in sin, having grown up in a “Christian” family..and then Iris Min took him in and he met Jesus, for real. He was telling me how much suffering he has been through in his life, and that God spoke to him on Friday “The time of suffering is over” and he rejoiced. This kid carried such peace and humility, and his smile is contagious.
There's Tito, an older man and the compound manager. He spent 20 years in a refugee camp. He said there was no work, no school, just plain nothing to do...for 20 years.
Being here is producing a true cry in me of “Come Lord Jesus, return to us.” This world is empty and poor, and Jesus is changing lives today for sure, but there will not be full restoration and an end to all pain until He comes back to us. I long for no more tears, no more sorrow, no more crying, no more pain. Until that day, I am going to set my mind on things above and storm the gates of hell with this Kingdom that is in me.
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