small beautiful things

the last few weeks have been hard, almost unbearable. i don't want to talk about that. i want to talk about beautiful things i've seen that, if even for a moment these days, make my heart smile. if there's one thing i've learned after 6 months in Sudan, it's that small things add up and become the "stuff" of the Kingdom. Jesus healing a sick person was worth just as much as Him letting the little children come to Him. casting out a demon was just as important and valuable to Him as eating with His disciples, laughing with them. both emanated love, demonstrated His nature, and brought healing. in fact, i will go so far as to say i think the latter examples are more important than the former, because God is all about relationship. the day-to-day relationship building and interaction is where the ultimate change in people's hearts happens.

i have seen many small beautiful things that evidence to me that the Lord is moving and using me. Ima (3) called me "giata", "white person" in Kakwa, for 3 months. i really hated it. he's a pretty hefty little boy and would fight constantly; he wasn't afraid to even smack me a couple times, which really bothered me. but finally he learned my name and i have witnessed a change in him where he has almost completely stopped fighting (except for the occasional scuffle with his fellow toddlers). every time he sees me outside, he shouts, "Rina!" and runs up to me.

one evening, i was eating supper with the older boys. Safari (20) was in the group, and he is not the most open, outgoing person. where the other kids talk to me and tell me what's going on in their hearts, Safari won't. we were all sitting there joking and talking. eventually, Safari and i got into a conversation about Sudanese culture, politics, faith, and the rest of the group disbursed. unprompted, he begins telling me his life story, from the beginning. he talked about his passion for the Lord at a young age, how God really set him apart, his abusive home situation, his suffering, and how he would pray for deliverance. he told me everything. i was so touched that he trusted me enough to share this with me.

we received a 14-year old girl named Akot from the brothels in Juba about one week ago. she's lived a horrible life, as you can imagine, and came very broken. there has been a dramatic transformation in her where in just one week she is like a completely different person. she would barely smile when she first came; now she smiles big all the time, plays with the kids, and trusted in Jesus this past Sunday.

little Daniel (2) has children's asthma which causes difficulty in breathing. there were days when he would just be out of it, in a catatonic-like state. the doctor recommended we put him on a nebulizer, which we don't currently possess. we treated him with an inhaler and he has dramatically improved. his breathing is so much better and he is much happier and livelier.

things like this make life worth living. i'm beginning to see as the Lord sees, to count these things as victories and not overlook them as insignificant. i believe this is how we conquer darkness, one small change, one small life at a time.