how to wind up in prison (or stay out of it) in South Sudan

I’ve been thinking a lot about my passion for justice. I never realized how fired up I get about injustice until this last year. I thought everyone was like that, but I’m realizing I’m a little feistier than most, and I think that’s because God has knit justice deeply into my core make-up. Truth is, I turn into a different person when faced with situations of corruption, unrighteousness, those in power taking advantage of the poor and those whom they are meant to protect and support. Something goes off in me (or switches on), and I am fearless. I don’t care if I get beaten, I don’t care if I go to jail, I don’t care if I get told off. But it’s not always a good thing. Often, reasoning and rational thinking pretty much go out the window, and I usually don’t realize until I’m out of the situation that “oh, it probably was not wisdom to tell off that officer who’s incompetent and trigger-happy”.

I’ve been having lots of issues with my visa. Immigration rules have been changed (again), and only 1-month visas are now issued in Yei, for $100. This is completely impractical and way too costly for those of us living here long-term, so I’ve been trying to fight for a 6-month or 1-year visa. The thing is, 6-month visas are issued at the South Sudan Embassy in Kampala, Uganda no problem. So it is pretty evidently corruption that is going on here, taking advantage of foreigners (who are “rich”, of course) and pocketing their cash. I got a letter from the commissioner of Yei, a very respected, powerful authority figure (who’s one of the only honorable leaders I’ve met in this country) endorsing my request for an extended visa. That took many trips down to his office, and many hours of waiting, but I finally got it. I’ve been down to the immigration offices countless times, but the director hasn’t been around. He’s in the capital, and nobody really knows what he’s doing or when he’s coming back. On the one day I caught him before he left on his trip, he didn’t arrive to work until 2pm, and I had sat there for 4 hours. While I was there, I noticed the staff doing a lot of nothing. Most of them mostly sit around on most days.

All this is so frustrating. It really makes my blood boil, how such irresponsibility and corruption is not only permissible, but normal and accepted as the standard. Everything in me wants to tell these guys off, to let them know how ridiculous they are. I did that once, actually, in one of those fired up moments where my mouth was detached from my brain and the realization caught up with me later of what I had actually said. I was ripped off, told I had to pay some foreigner fee and write my name down in a scraggly notebook, and I told the officer that he may get away with this now and no one has power to do anything about it, but God sees, and he would answer to Him one day. That really infuriated him, and I was glad to get out of there in one piece.

I know that my passion for justice is something God put inside of me. But I think God is helping me in becoming less reactionary, wiser in my words and actions, vocalizing truth boldly, but in wisdom and with mercy in my heart. I know there’s a way to fight for justice that is merciful. Mercy and justice are not self-exclusive and separate entities on opposite ends of the spectrum. God is 100% both, all the time, and so they co-exist and are intimately intertwined together. The challenge, for me, is to learn how to operate in both, to emulate the heart and behavior of Christ. That doesn’t mean laying down and just taking it. Jesus did turn over tables and confront behaviors and attitudes in leaders that were unjust. But He did it without vehemence in His heart. I think that’s the challenge for me – to maintain mercy toward the one executing injustice.

So I’m learning. But in the mean time, please visit me if I end up in prison J.