Jesus WEEPS

My friend sent me a text with this quote: "A Christian is someone who shares the sufferings of God in the world" (Dietrich Bonhoeffer). He was a German pastor under Hitler's regime and one of very few Christians who condemned the dictator's persecution of the Jews. He died in prison for attempting to assassinate Hitler, something he felt the Lord call him to and wrestled with as he was a pacifist and peacemaker. He eventually drew the analogy of a shooter walking into a classroom saying he was going to kill all the students. Wouldn't you as the teacher shoot the shooter? All that to say, Bonhoeffer knew what he was talking about in terms of suffering.

I love this quote because it indicates that God suffers. Jesus Christ is no longer in an earthly body, feeling and seeing what we see and feel. He's no longer on the cross, experiencing the weight of every sin and every pain we've ever had. He is risen. But God still suffers. He still experiences pain over human daily suffering. His heart still cries. A woman named Jennifer Miller had an encounter where God took her to a room in His house called the Weeping Room. He told her He spent most of His time there and asked if she was sure she wanted to go in. She said, "I want to be where You are." The room is furnished with only a chair, where Jesus sits and watches scene after scene of human suffering - children being abused, starvation, poverty, death, disease. She sees tears streaming down the Lord's face. Jesus still weeps.

Do we want to be where He is? Philippians 1:29 says "For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in Him but also to suffer for His sake..." To be like Christ, our master, to follow Him, means to sit with the poor, share in their pain, and not turn a blind eye to it because it hurts too much (and when I say "poor," I don't mean just materially, because you can be monetarily rich but very oppressed and depressed, and thereby poor). You are called to feel it, because Christ does...right now. He dwells among the broken. Do you want to be where He is...?

tribute to Cambridge

i was in durham this past weekend and got to spend time with some good friends from Cambridge (the ministry i was in in college). like always, i had a wonderful time. like always, i barely slept because christie and i stayed up hours into the night talking and laughing. i encountered generosity, goofiness, sincere encouragement, devotion to Jesus, and real brotherly love...just like old times. new inside jokes were formed, memories revisited. christian payed for dinner thursday night. brennen handed me a $100 dollar bill the same night (which i thought was a $20 until i actually looked at it much later). both touched my heart to the point of tears with their encouraging words about zhop's closure. pastor john and martha atkins payed for breakfast saturday morning, expressing such joy about my move to Sudan it made me more excited. i went to lunch with andrea and was deeply inspired by her strength. rollan gave me the best, most loving hug at church. christie and kenesha drove me everywhere! i cooked rice and burned it (typical) and stunk up christie's place. she looked up remedies to burnt pots online, and we spent the next day boiling salt and baking soda...stinking up the place yet again. i got to laugh heartily, talk about problems and struggles, revel in God's work in us. these are true friendships - where you go from discussing end times to sharing your heart in God to laughing about being gassy from eating too much beans, all in one conversation.

every reunion between 2+ Cambridge folk is just like old times...even though years have passed and so much life and growth has happened, nothing's changed between us. when we're together, we're the same silly kids who were crazy for God in college and did ridiculous things. our stories, testimonies, experiences are written in eternity. maybe we'll sit around the big screen up there and watch the DVD with God. maybe we'll even live in the same neighborhood in heaven.

to all my Cambridge-ites...you know who you are, you are more than friends to me. you are my family, and i look forward to spending eternity with you.

"Your ways are perfect" - ZHOP's completion

as I said in my August newsletter, ZHOP is closing. this announcement was made about 1 month ago. Greg Burnett, the man who was going to be taking over leadership from Kirk (who was moving to IHOP) declared confidently that he was not the person for this job and did not have the grace from the Lord to do it. all the staff understood and knew it was the Lord. He was saying, "You're done here, well done, assignment complete." but that didn't make it any easier. the day it was announced, i wept bitterly, and for the next 2 days as well. i am moving to Sudan in January, and the closing of ZHOP meant i was losing my home. since then we've been through a roller coaster ride of emotions. for most staff, this is liken to a job transfer, and as the whole leadership team is moving to IHOP Kansas City, so now are most staff. it's different for the community - people with full-time jobs for whom ZHOP is their church. most are not making a move to KC, so they are experiencing a lot of pain and grief over the loss of ZHOP. one man put it this way - "the reason i'm so hurt is because i am so grateful for this place. it has changed my family's life." it has been nothing less than painful to walk through this for everyone.

i am making the move to IHOP. the family i live with, Tom and Hilary Lacy, invited me to move with them (the night we got the announcement and i was destroyed because i didn't know where to go between now and January. it brought instant peace and security). the biggest burden we now have is selling 8 houses (families rent houses from one owner and house singles as well). i think i am alright now. i am looking forward to resting at IHOP. it's been hard the last few months here, being a shift leader and worship leader. i've heard the prayer room at IHOP is amazing - you sit down and are immediately sucked into heaven. that'll be really nice.

i decided to not try to figure out why this happened, all the spiritual reasons. none of us will know until the age to come why the Lord did this, and then it will make sense and we'll say, "Your ways are perfect."