Peter and God's wonderful refining process

i recently finished 1 Peter, i was reading and meditating on it slowly for a long time, and the book is all about good conduct as a Christian. What this means is righteous and blameless living, that when the Gentiles (unbelievers) revile you as evildoers, they may see your good conduct and be put to shame and glorify God in the end (essentially, be convicted because they accused you and out of this conviction, turn to the Lord and receive salvation). also, i love the character of Peter, because in his example you see so vividly the power of the Holy Spirit to transform a man. When Christ called him, he was young, impulsive, self-confident, self-righteous, strong in himself but also bold and fiery. He had the audacity to rebuke Jesus (when Jesus said to him "Get behind me Satan") and to say to Jesus that he'd be with him to the death (after which Christ told him he would deny Him 3 times). yet we see demonstrations of his boldness - he was the first to step out of the boat when Jesus walked on water. when Peter denies Christ, he is devastated and severely humbled. i believe this is why the Lord allowed this to happen, because Peter needed to be humbled and needed to see that he was not strong in himself, that he was not even able to stand strong in the faith without the aid of the Holy Spirit.

Peter denies the Lord, yet Jesus instantly takes him back after the resurrection. Jesus calls a very humbled and ashamed Peter to Himself and tells him to feed His sheep, to follow Him (John 21). Jesus says, " '...when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.' This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God" (John 21:18-19). Peter realized by these words that he would suffer much in his life. Peter wrote 1 and 2 Peter at the end of his life, right before he was crucified, and as you read these letters, you are seeing a completely different man than the young guy that Jesus called to be his disciple - still bold as ever but a man of great meekness who requested to be crucified upside down because of revelation of his own unworthiness to even die the same way Jesus did. The man who starts off his Christian walk thinking he's "the stuff" ends it knowing he is nothing - that Christ is everything, that Christ in him is the only thing that makes him great. He got this revelation not all of a sudden, but slowly, by God's process of chipping away at the areas of his heart that were not Christ-like. Day by day, year by year, God worked in Peter and slowly changed and purified him through suffering and trials to be a man of boldness, as he always was, but also humble, meek, having no confidence in his own strength and no self-righteousness.

Peter's life is such a witness of God's complete ability to transform us and take even our greatest weaknesses and redeem them and turn them into strengths. we want this to happen right away, but God loves processes! And the best part is, He never gives up on us. Let Peter's testimony be an encouragement and assurance to us that if God can change him and call someone like him, with all his issues, he can change any one of us and complete the good work He started.

the truth is, I don't trust God

why is it so hard to trust God?!?! i am frustrated with myself because no matter how many times God comes through for me, every time a new challenge arises, i find myself not trusting! the worst part about it is that the "new challenge" is not new at all, but the same type of situation i just went through 3 months earlier where God came through massively. say finances, for example - a BIG source of stress for missionaries, and an area that, for some reason, is the most difficult to trust God in. when i graduated college, completed my internship at ZHOP, and was entering into living 100% on support, i had 2 weeks to raise enough monthly funding. i was freaking out. i remember crying to a friend on the phone saying, "God called me to full-time ministry, but how am i going to do this, i don't have any funding!" funny part is, i was having this crisis of trust before i had even made a real concerted effort to raise funds. guess what happened? 2 weeks later, i had the money i needed to be a full-time missionary. then i thought, "how stupid of me to doubt the Lord! God, forgive me for my faithlessness."

i thought i learned my lesson, but now i am back in the same boat, in need of finances and stressing out about it. as before, i haven't made a real effort to raise more support, but i'm already anxious. as i am writing this, i am seeing how ridiculous it is to stress before you've even tried. and even more ridiculous, to stress when you are loved by someone like our Lord, who gives to those who ask according to His will. James calls it double-mindedness and instability when a man asks from the Lord and doubts that he shall have it (Jas 1:6).

it really is all on God. if God wants you to do something, He must provide the way, or else you can't do it. the pressure's all on Him! you don't have to do anything but BELIEVE! it is part of our inheritance in Christ to live stress-free. why do we not receive this inheritance? we have the privilege of serving a God who deeply cares and has our best interest in mind (as much as we do not believe that sometimes). let's start acting like it.

p.s. please comment :)

How to use ZHOP TV

This little embedded video I have here (on the right side of the page) is a bunch of audio and video clips from sets at ZHOP, various worship leaders, conferences, and services. To browse, go to "Menu", "Browse On-Demand Library" and select what you would like to listen to.

I'm on it! To find me, do the above and you'll see my name :)

Longsuffering

2 Peter 3:9 says "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." The context of this verse is the promise of Christ's return, redemption of creation, and destruction of the wicked. I was reading this passage in the Prayer Room and got stuck for a while on this verse. I kept writing and writing about God's longsuffering nature. Longsuffering literally means "to suffer long," or be patient. When we must exercise patience, it implies suffering because we are having to wait for something we badly want right then. What is it that God so badly wants? He wants to marry His Bride and return to earth to dwell with her. This has been His ultimate desire from eternity past. He is consumed with it; it's all He thinks about. What's more, He can have her whenever He wants, for it's His choice when to return. What restrains Him? It's love for those who do not yet know Him, for those who blatantly reject Him, even hate Him. He knows if He were to return now, they would perish and be cast into the lake of fire...and so He waits, to give them ample time to repent and return His love. Even though all creation reveals the glory of God, there is so much evidence of Christ's love, and people hear the Gospel many times and reject him over and over, He still waits, hopes for them to turn. He puts His own desire on hold for the sake of more people coming into the Kingdom. He's willing to suffer long. The laying down of His life, the choosing to cause Himself more pain for another's gain, did not stop at the cross; He does it every second that He does not return.

If you read the book of Revelation and the judgments, God seems mean. There will be famines, wars, massive amounts of people dying. But picture a child abuser, or a human traffiker who rapes children and women, and then think about the fact that the reason Christ has not returned yet is because He is waiting for this wicked person to see the light, that He LOVES even this depraved human being. He wants NONE to perish...that's why He waits. So when He unleashes judgment on the earth, it's because He has waited the absolute maximum amount of time He could and given people ample time and evidence to repent. You see, everything He does is love - the cross, judgment, everything. He's always moving out of a heart of pure, undefiled, crazy love.